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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
Personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts.


The results:

..
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink:
Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach:
Avoid her, unless you want to be
                             her cabin boy.



Drink:
Mixed Drinks
Personality:
Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach:
You won't have to approach her.
                              She'll send YOU a drink.



Drink:
Wine (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality:
Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach:
Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more
                              years...Alzheimer's and term limits be
                              damned.



Drink:
White zinfandel
Personality:
Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated,
                      actually has no clue.

Your approach:
Make her feel smarter than she is.


Drink:
Shots
Personality:
Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get
                      drunk... and naked.

Your Approach:
Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do
                             but wait.
Love is a snowmobile racing across the open tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night the Ice weasels come.

- Matt Groening