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| Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's Personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: |
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| Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned. Drink: White zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is. Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk... and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait. |
| Love is a snowmobile racing across the open tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the Ice weasels come. - Matt Groening |